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Week Ending Friday 1/24/20

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This picture pretty much says it all as far as the highlight of this past week. I LOVE these boys. We watch our grandsons Maddox (age 5)  and Nolie (age 2) on Sundays. We've really cut back on how often we watch them. There was a time that Dan was living w/ us (in Sleepy Hollow) and we saw them every Tuesday and every other weekend. Then Dan moved back in w/ Tasha and we moved to Huntley and now we see them only on Sundays. I don't know what the future holds for D&T. Right now, things are terrible between them and I'm not sure how they move on to the next "stage" since neither of them can afford their own place. And, still the children pay the price. Don't they always? I know mine did. You know HOW I know? Because Rosie tells me all the time the pain that was inflicted on her when her Dad and I divorced. She's pretty vocal about telling me how the poor decisions I made caused her "trauma". I respect her version of events. How can I not? If
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2:11 on 1/16/2020

Not using this as blog - just going to try to write short notes about what's happened today. I'm doing this for one reason and one reason only. So, I'll remember my life. I've had this MS now for 20 years and it's picking away at my cognitive abilities. But, it's the beginning of a new year AND a new decade and as I sit here looking back on past posts - I like what I'm reading. I like going back to a memory that, had I not written it down, I certainly wouldn't be smiling now..........of feeling angry (thanks potus). So, I'll use this a ledger of my activities from day to day. But, I should take the time to write about some of the major things that happened to me over the past decade, such as: Turning 50...........and then 60. Becoming a grandmother not once, but twice. (Surely there are some happy memories there.) My husband cheated on me. That was big. Didn't come close to destroying me but I won't lie and say it didn't burn.
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When will this end?

Yesterday I sat on the back porch enjoying 70 degree weather. Warm and sunny. I was so happy that summer was right around the corner. The has been one of the longest winters that I can remember and I know why it feels that way. First, last year, we didn't open our pool (that's when we starting thinking SUMMER) until after Memorial Day. We had to replace all the pipes to the pool and close off the bottom drain. Cost us quite a bit of money, but it had to be done. So, we started the season LATE and ended it EARLY because we closed the pool on last day of August so we could take our vacation. We didn't want to have to worry about the functioning/cleaning etc of the pool so we just decided to close it. So basically, it was a VERY short pool season and that is how we measure our summers here; by just how many days we get to FLOAT in the pool. Secondly, time has really been dragging ever since that ass hat POTUS has been in Washington. Both Jeff and I wake every morning and
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70 degrees in Mid-November.

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This weather is just wonderful. I had most of the day to myself. Went for eyebrow wax/tint (Holy crap - cost $60) Had what was probably my DQ cone for the season. Didn't obsess too much about politics. Just kind of watching the clown assemble his cabinet. Not gonna be a easy 4 years, that's for sure. Let it go. Jeff golfed. How could he not. It was 70 degrees out today. Reading a bio of Eleanor Roosevelt (covering 1939-till her death). Puts what were going through now into perspective. As first lady, she was resolute in her conviction to helping the refugees fleeing Europe. She received regular updates from friends in Europe about the atrocities being committed by Hitler. Entire towns being bombed and it's inhabitants being killed or forced to flee; but to where? One by one, countries (Norway, Denmark, Switzerland, France) being overtaken by Nazi forces. The entire world was on fire and FDR was maneuvering his way through the nightmare that the USA would eventually
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Catrastrophizing

Been told I'm catastrophizing about the election. Actually listened to a clinical psychologist's podcast that used the word. I'm pretty sure it's NOT really a word but when you see it or say it.......you know exactly what it means. And yes, I am taking the outcome of the election and elevating the possibilities into probabilities. I wake up in the middle of the night and check the news. I can't bear to see Trump on television or hear his voice. Pretty sure it's at obsession level. So, I followed the doctor's advice. Just stop. STOP. Stop twitter. Stay off social media for the time being. Finally, get outside. Just take a walk. Do anything. So I went golfing. But, I don't golf.
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There's a story here.

Arthur Miller, speaking about 222 W. 23rd Street - Chelsea Hotel. "No vacuum cleaners. No rules. No shame." I get it. 😉 Didn't know anything about the history of the building. http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2013/10/chelsea-hotel-oral-history
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Thanks Leonard. This helps.

Obviously, I'm still trying to deal with the recent election. "The only moment that you can live here comfortably in these absolutely irreconcilable conflicts is in this moment when you embrace it all and you say "Look, I don’t understand a fucking thing at all – Hallelujah!” Leonard Cohen
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