Sunday, March 30, 2008

Good Vibrations...Is This What The Beach Boys Meant?


The other evening, I was lying in my bed watching television, which is my normal nightly routine before I fall asleep. I usually watch the Jon Stewart Show.....or at least I begin to watch it and usually doze off before it ends. On this night, I could not fall asleep because I was hearing a noise that, at first, sounded like a motor running outside. It was driving me crazy. I got out of bed, walked around the bedroom, opened all the windows one by one......hoping that the source of the noise would become apparent. Well, it was not a car running.

I remember hearing a similar noise last summer before the electrical transformer behind our house "popped", plunging most of our block into darkness. It made this "buzzing" sound that was extremely irritating........kinda made my insides "buzz" also. (Seriously, due to my MS, my "system" is somewhat sensitive to certain sounds, sensations, etc.). Well, it was not the transformer.

Again, I remembered the many times that one of the kids left the X-Box video game running......it gave off a rather constant, again IRRITATING vibration. Also, on occasion, my son's computer vibrates rather loudly (for a computer, I mean). It's on it's last leg and sounds like the hard drive is getting ready to crash. So, I walked around the house checking for possible "sources" of the vibration........no luck.

My husband was watching me walk in and out of each room.......back and forth.......turning things on and off. He asked me what I was doing. I asked him to come in the bedroom with me. He said, "Right this minute".............I said, "Yeah, right this minute". Now, HE was irritated, since he was in the middle of his own video game (Warcraft) and it's not the type of game where one can just "get up and go"..........takes awhile to log off, etc. But, he could see something was bothering me.........so he obliged me and followed me into the bedroom. I said "Do you hear that..........can you FEEL that? Something is making a noise......I can't fall asleep." He listened for a moment...then proceeded to do the same things I had done.........open windows..........check television, etc. He even made a quick check of things in the back yard.

Now it gets funny. While he was in the yard, I sat on the bed..........and........I swore the bed was moving. So, when he came back in the bedroom.............I said "Here, feel the bed". He put both his hands on the mattress...........(Ok..here's where I start to feel stupid)

He looked at me...........like.....HEY, GENIUS! Seriously, he was INCREDULOUS......he said "The BED is VIBRATING".............."Yeah, i know", it's making me nuts." Finally, he said, "IT'S YOUR VIBRATOR........WHERE IS IT". I screwed up my face and said "What?" Then, I stopped to think. I remembered; I knelt down and reached both my hands in between the mattress and the box spring sweeping them right to left........and VOILA........I pulled out my forgotten silver "bullet" vibrator which somehow had managed to turn itself on. I'm guessing that the many, many months it spent under the mattress with so much "activity" on top of it had caused enough movement for the end of it to twist to the "on" position.

I had completed forgotten that I had moved it from its original hiding place in my nightstand after I had found my daughter rummaging though the top drawer looking for make-up remover or something like that. I figured I had better put it somewhere more "secure". "Nice job"........my husband said, grinning. I smiled back at him and said, "Thanks, honey.......you're my hero" I turned it on......as high as it would go and, blowing him a kiss, smiled and said..."You can go now".