Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Snow Day


Calling a "snow day" for myself. Woke up this morning at 5am, looked out the window to see everything covered in snow. So, I decided;

I won't be there.

I'm not going.

Don't expect to see me.

Count me out.

Made a pot of coffee, turned the Xmas tree lights on and sat in my chair watching the day break.

This is something my MS has taught me. Take more snow days.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Maybe it's the weather.....


I can't quite put my finger on it........i'm feeling more tired than usual and I'm not sure why. It's been raining here in Chicago for the better part of two days. Usually I like the rain but, right now I'm feeling pretty blue. I am longing for one of those gorgeous summer days, hanging out in the yard, floating in the pool. My husband Jeff put this unbelievable koi pond in the yard about three years ago and it has become my favorite place during the summer to read and meditate. Maybe it's just that simple. I know there is a "disorder" call SAD (seasonal something disorder) that is the result of not getting enough exposure to the sun. Who knows what the heck is going on? As I've said before, the fatigue is pretty much "always there" and, weather permitting, I would go for a long walk, listening to my music. But, that's not going to happen tonight. So, it's on to Plan B...........nice hot bath and a cigar........new episode later of my favorite show Boston Legal.

Dinner was a roast in the oven that just sat there (i mean that literally, it just sat in the oven). I turned the oven off but was too tired to make anything to go along w/ the roast. At least there is the soup. The kids ordered pizza. The good thing is that no one criticizes me for the incomplete dinner.....they just "make do".

Pooped Again!


Have already done laundry........grocery shopped.........made what I hope is a delicious pot of chicken soup...........now I must close my eyes. My head is pretty foggy and the house will be filling up soon with people..........kids, husband...


Damn, too late. My husband just came home and wants to talk about a boat he would like to buy. I'm watching him talk....talk.....lips are moving and I am having a tough time paying attention to what he is saying.


This is definitely THE most difficult aspect of MS. I tire easily..........no..... I MEAN EASILY, QUICKLY. It's not just physical, but mental. The increased stimuli of a grocery store or a house full of kids (young adults, actually)... anywhere that is not quiet, which is pretty much everywhere, becomes overwhelming.


(Besides, what makes him think we can afford a boat?)

Monday, December 10, 2007

The Roller Coaster that is MS

When I began this blog, I wasn’t sure at first what aspect of the disease I wanted to address. Did I want to confine my posts to writing about the physical difficulties of having a chronic disease? Or, did I want to entertain/intrigue the reader (hopefully, there will be readers and hopefully they will be entertained) with my "roller coaster ride" that is called Multiple Sclerosis. I thought for about a FRACTION OF ONE SECOND and decided on the latter since the stories to tell are oh so much more interesting as one might expect. Anyone who knows someone that has been diagnosed with MS most likely knows the general symptoms that accompany this disease. If not, you can check out this website to read about them. National MS Society : Symptoms of MS: Information and Management As I look over this list, I am a bit stunned by just how many of the symptoms I exhibit. This blog will address all these symptoms and how they have affected, and continue to affect my husband, children and extended family.


What a roller coaster ride it has been, which makes me think of the movie Parenthood with Steve Martin. The movie shows us just how crazy life can be. Towards the end of the movie, Steve’s character is suffering from an anxiety attack prior to attending a school event for one of his children. He has recently learned that his wife is pregnant again and he doesn’t know how they will handle the stress of another child. His grandmother (I just loved her) tells him a story. In her faltering voice, she tells him how when she was a little girl, she loved to go on the roller coasters. She said she loved how they went “up and down, up and down”. She goes on to say "how frightened, how exhilarated ” it made her feel. She finally shrugs her shoulder, saying, “some girls went on the merry-go-round but what fun was that? It just goes round and round” She was trying to tell him that it’s the ups and downs, the unexpected highs and lows that make life so interesting. For me, the jury is still out on that particular sentiment, but I will defer to the wisdom of the elderly and just carry on……….keeping my fingers crossed and my eyes scanning the "park" for the merry-go-round.